After the impressive (and impressively drunk Breton’s) video banging shoe bottle of wine (I speak English, I promeese), even more have appeared. And if you must have corks and cork screws, well, thank you.

On a recent episode of 30 Rock, Tina Fey’s character, Liz Lemon, ever interested in food, exclaims “I want to go to there” when enticed with a gift certificate to a steak house. Well, seeing that there was a corkscrew museum in France, and a virtual museum online, makes me feel the same way.

Hit the link for the virtual tour.

“I want to go to there.”

You may have a few wine corks leftover from this weekend’s festivities. If you’re in need of a project (aren’t we all?), you might want to consider a “corkxedo.”

These wine corks are drilled, reinforced, and strung together: The Corkxedo was created by Los Angeles wine lover Dave Hamilton who spent around ten months putting together a top hat, cane and jacket with tails that are all made of whole corks drilled, reinforced and woven and knotted with nylon twine. The set contains the corks of more than 240 wineries and the oldest cork is a 1935 Chateau Lynch-Bages.

Anyone want to make a corkcycle? I’ll wear the ritz underneath a corkxedo and pick up my date on a bicycle built for two. I’m up for it.

If you are one of the thousands of people not lucky like me, you celebrate Valentine’s Day. If you are one of the people like me you have quite a few wine corks laying around the house, that is, corks that haven’t been used for parking brakes, door knobs, or door knob stoppers. Grab your old corks and get to it.

For this heart wreath, start with a standard foam, wire or wicker frame that you’ve put into the shape of a heart. Now, using a strong glue, glue each cork into place against that backing. Be sure to give it adequate time to dry!

Time to dry? Good call. That is why, my friends, I’m posting the one and only (hopefully) Valentine’s Day posting far in advance.

Now, are you unsure of whether your valentine will be your valentine? Might I recommend the ole glass half full or empty test. Ok, I made that test up.

Look at your glass NOW. Right now. If it’s above halfway full, you’re set. Pleasant Valentine’s nights.

I think what’s interesting in the debate over proper closure(s) of wine bottles (a major topic of the Unified Wine and Grape Symposium) is how the consumer — that is, you and me — is almost completely taken out of the dialog. Blogs have overtaken news reporting, social web sites prevail over monolithic media sites, but in the world of wine we still are waiting for them to make a decision. Paige Poulos, who is a public relations consultant for many wineries, says it doesn’t matter what the consumer wants. As higher-end wineries increase their use of the screwcap, she argues, consumers will begin to accept the change.

The writers over at Luxist state their view:

Whether or not cork taint is a huge issue for consumers, wineries do seem to be moving steadily toward the screwcap. Australia and New Zealand have embraced the screwcap and other closures as well as alternative packaging such as box wine. In the U.K. the popular stores are filled with screwcap bottles. While data shows that the U.K. and U.S. are becoming more open to other closures, France still prefers the cork. It seems inexorably that this is the way the industry is heading for the most part.

Whichever direction the industry heads in, what’s really important is that we avoid headline-puns: “To Screw or Not to Screw, that is the Question.” Oops, there goes that idea.

If you’re not into bringing your wine to the door knobs, as we were a few weeks ago, then perhaps you would care to bring your door knobs to the wine? A perfect gift for that kitschy someone, these Vintage Knob Stoppers (does that sound dirty?) are available from southmoonunder.com. Check them out here. Can you do this yourself? Yes. Should you? That remains to be decided. Happy knob stopping!

You probably know that we’re really into corks here at WineandWheels. Well then, we won’t waste your time reminiscing, here’s a new prototype we’re working on — the wine cork door knob. Why? Let’s just say there’s a certain Je ne sais pas to using wine corks for everyday function.

And speaking of French, or in French for that matter, if you decide to make a cork-knob, try the corks from previously-reviewed Red Bicyclette (they say Bonjour! on them!).

–Eric Mills

Ever since reading John Pollack’s Cork Boat I have experimented with extra-curricular uses for wine corks. One of my favorites has to be the pen holder I fashioned at our old apartment. This parking brake pictured on the left, though, while neat and probably useful, doesn’t seem all that functional.

Years ago on Lonelyplanet’s Thorntree, still one of the most comprehensive travel bulletin boards, someone suggested using a keyring as a theft deterrent. They said to slip a keyring up on the handlebar, and over one of the brake levers, to stop anyone from jumping on your ride and quickly leaving town. (Why locking the bike didn’t come up, I’ll never know). Debates still abound in the On Your Bike forum about brakes, and they most likely always will. I wonder, though, if giving the rear disc-brake a good twist wouldn’t be the best bet to keep your wheels from rolling away?

Wine corks are greatly useful, and aside from the bicycle brake, and the omnipresent wine cork bulletin board, I hope to have some more ideas soon. The above corkery was brought to you by Kevin Kelly’s Cool Tools.

Anyone have any useful cork ideas? Leave them in the comments section by clicking the link below. Or email them to: tips@wineandwheels.com